155 / 365 – Fishing

SARAH STRASBERG

It’s a beautiful day. So beautiful everyone cleared out of town right after lunch. It was completely dead. Rather than sit and worry about how am I going to pay the lease this month if I have no customers, I thought, let’s take the rest of the afternoon off.

Finn says, Great. I’m going fishing. I’m thinking … It’s a beautiful day, we have the afternoon off, Leah is with her father. And you’re going to run off, fishing? I guess that’s what disappointing men do around these parts. I had thought maybe, um, we could enjoy a little of that sunshine together.

This will never work. Just like me. I meet someone and I construct this whole idea about it. It feels perfect. And I construct an idea about that tells me it’s perfect. That lets me forget that he’s only half my age and that he says he wants to have children and be a father someday and I am too damned old for any of this. And once upon a time I had my head screwed on and I knew this part of my life was over, so why did I let myself get all wrapped up again?

But then, he wants to go fishing. And it reminds me how impossible it all is, how ridiculous. How ridiculous I am.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s